Poems

I hope you love me as much as I hate you (2023)

You know I love you as much as you hate me
The dichotomy of the human relationship
I wish I could have left you behind
Stop every word you say from festering in my mind
And lingering in my heart
I don't even remember what we were at the start
Only the bitter miserable end
Kicking around the corpse of our previously infallible love
I think?
You never know how you seem in a conversation
Only aware of yourself and what the other party is portraying
How the things you felt were Innocuous were stinging words of betrayal
Rapt of compassion
Filled with apathy
That's the damning thing about human nature
The expectancy of a relationship dependent on assumptions
Thoughts
Presumptions
Don't you find you are being presumptuous?
Sometimes love is the act of endless suffering, the push to keep trying even when it's over
Practicing what to say to you over and over even if every answer I drafted is the wrong one
You look at me and ask me to spell practice
P R A C T i C E
Slap me on the wrist for my mistake not knowing I think the lowercase i looks prettier among all the capitals.
That's just who I am and that's just who you are.
Can't you just acknowledge that you're wrong?
That's what you said.
Rather you said that I don't
Statement not inquisition.
But it seems you've forgotten when my head was down in the dirt swallowing the worms for a pittance of your mercy
Sorry sorry sorry
I'll dance like the jester and humiliate myself until you forget that I made you laugh
I always thought you were so full of shit.
Sorry sorry sorry
Fill my mouth with the dirt turned sodden from the rain where the worms are uncovered where we bask in their shame
You've unearthed me twice just to bask in my shame, even if I had none you made me feel that way
Shame
Shouldn't you feel ashamed?
To have someone trust you only to throw it away?

I'm not the one you want to love you
For when you sought a heart
All you found were cords and wires
You accidentally tore a part
I was an amalgamation of a friend from the start
Mechanical in every instance
I perform the action you just give me the word
Smile, laugh, frown, cry
But my programming stops at love
When I fell to pieces did you try to discern my code?
Look between the lines for the word love?
The relationship built on something uncharacteristic of
Me.
Pre-programmed to be right, syntaxes written for responses
Workarounds for solutions I never found
But somehow you claimed to love
me.
With my processing obsolete
All systems down
I want to learn to love
me.

Manifesto of a Prince (2024)

I lust for the tender embrace of your flesh, thick breath
viscous sweat.
The tightness in my chest when I enter
full steam ahead, I'm going to burst.
cram my fingers in your mouth
stop talking.
I think I love you, there is something so sweet about us
sillicon dreams with your face on it.
How old were you in this picture?
Too bad I've already came
You were sexy when you were fifteen, would you
let me call you baby?
princess?
let me be your daddy, from the things you post
I know you need some guidance
Lascivious gaze, I know you love my attention.
There would be know you without me, recognize that
whore.
If you think they care they don't, I don't
just keep showing us the bottomless escape
trapped in your pants.
----, baby. Always my baby
I'll keep you rocked in the cradle swaying in my heart.

Man needs woman
Woman needs man
Man needs to breed. Have you ever tried anal?

If there is a god he speaks to me, tells me
I'm Adam you're Eve
Only way to liberate this world is giving you cock to eat.

Every word you type, I read.
Every post you make, I like
Butterfly in a bottle, soft flapping of your wings
Swelling down scrotal.
Princess, your prince of pleasure is here
my words to your heart
my worms to fill your dear
womb
tight, you always fight, whats it take to have a little give?
The real you is here digital angel,
you've made it abundantly clear
you love me.

I'd kill you if I could.
Mash your body into the Earth.
sweet. mouth so sweet
honeyed drips of saliva
lick it across my teeth.

Endless Death and Rebirth in the Search for Perfection (2024)

Perfection is given to those
born better.
if you have to die one thousand times
I'll keep the spawn thats one thousand and one
thats the go getter.
Let your mother bare the brood
Let father induce the sperm
because the perfect child will be born
above the shit smellers.
broken wings, melted limbs, twisted tongues
bed wetters.
I have a proclivity for perfect pupa
If one thousand and one is the chosen one
Mother will pin you if I let her.
I don't offer love
Begging wont suffice
I perserve perfection
And if your avulsion from me is the price
I can't say I regret it.
Its above you and the way you feel.
I wont say it twice or thrice.
Perfection is equivocal to taking your first breath.
or the realization you get
from dying twice.